...jessica...

ironic...

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 03:07:28 GMT

last time i updated was exactly a year tomorrow... That is so odd.

In reguards to the last post I haven't seen john since about last august. he was who "rejected" me. The last month of last summer i spent mostly with katie and at the beach.

On my birthday, september last year I met James. I was leaving the bar and he stopped me, just to say hi. Now, a year later, we are living together.

I got a new job on Jan 1, 2007 and MANE USA a fragrance house. I work in the applications department applying fragrances to each of the customer bases for presentations and such. Our largest clients are bath and body works, white barn candle, yankee candle, five star, victoria's secret, gap, banana republic... etc. Our company has put a whole lot of fragrances on the market. I also do product development in the R&D department. I so far have developed a massage candle for hannas candle that should be on the market this fall. Right now i am working on a water based gel air freshner. It is fun science. Especially when you see your work in the market.

As for james, we met as i said on my birthday. The beginning of our relationship was a complete worldwin, it was so fun and new and exciting. he did things for me every day that made it impossible for me not to fall in love with him. I journaled most of the begining in a seperate "hardcopy" journal. The night he met me i gave him my phone number. As soon as i got in the car on the way home he called and said "my name is james, save it in your phone and don't forget it." WELL needless to say that next weekend I was in little italy for the san genaro festival and my phone completely died. i lost all the numbers. including james'. In order to find his number i went through my phone bill the next month and looked for all calls that came on the morning after my birthday (around midnight on my birthday) and i found it! we met at the bar twice after that, then i kissed him. After that he said he needed to take me on a real date. So he picked me up one of the first saturdays in october and took me to harriman park for a hike. then we went out for dinner. After dinner he drove me home. That tuesday he picked me up at work and took me to lunch. that wednesday we went to the bar again...since then we have seeen eachother almost every day. After i got a new job in january he started looking for a new job and found one at pella windows and doors in april, with the stipulation that he had to relocate. he said he wouldnt move without me. so we moved together, about halfway between both our jobs. so now we are in a two family house living on our own. the first two weeks were a hard adjustment but now things have started to settle down. we are settling into a routine. i can't believe how much changes in one year...

since last year both james and i have changed jobs and residences. james has quit smoking and started running. i have completed a year of graduate school, alex and erika are still together (two years in august). i bought a new car, am now paying for all my own bills. life has a funny way of working out.

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 14:08:03 GMT

took a chance, for the first time in my life. i put myself out there, then rejection. damn that sucks.

alone again

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 02:04:39 GMT

its odd how much one person can be in your life. I was with matt for close to a year and a half. he was my best friend and the person i wanted to share everything with. its funny how things change. i still care about him deeply, i still consider him one of my best friends. but i am home now, back in NJ, college is over, and it seems like that chapter in my life is over as well. it is exciting, but thinking about it, it is sad. matt is now applying for jobs all over the south and midwest. there was no way that we could maintain a healthy relationship if we only saw eachother once a month at the max. i wish it didn't have to be that way. but i guess life has a funny way of working itself out.

havent written in awhile

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 02:02:14 GMT

So i guess i should start updating again!

So much has happened. On an extremely quick synopsis of the past few months...This is more so i remember what has happened when i am old and stumble upon this...

1. I graduated College
2. I went to Myrtle beach with my boyfriend, best friend, and her best friend.
3. I went on a cruise with my family to San Juan, St. Thomas, and Tortola. We went horseback riding in the rainforest, sailing and snorkling, and swam with dolphins. St. Thomas is the shopping capital of the caribbean and it had some amazing jewelery.
4. I moved back home and matt visited and we went to a yankees game for memoral day and had a HUGE block party
5. Caroline and John broke up again
6. I started working at Town and Country and go to the beach every weekend.
7. I went to Annapolis and Baltimore with matt for his birthday, we saw an Orioles game, went to the science museum, stayed at the hyatt, shopped in the inner harbor...
8. I hang out with my high school friends a lot.
9. I went to the beach and BBQed with my family for July 4 and nicole had a pool party/sleepover
10. I went to see pirates of the caribbean 2 at midnight opening day with my friend john
11. the next day john had a siezure. :(
12. I went to my friend's graduation party and had a swell time.
13. I have to wear rediculous garb in the lab now because of the chemicals i am working with and it is very annoying
14. I broke up with matt, but I am ok. We are both civil and will always care about eachother.

so thats about the long and short of it for the past few months. ill update more real things later. In the meantime, check out www.myspace.com/jzski

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 03:02:19 GMT

I am OFFICIALLY Scuba certified as of today! YAY! I spend the past two days diving in a quarry with my roomates and it was sooo fun! Now we will be certified for life as open water divers. Next step is to get the advanced certification. I think i'll do a few dives for fun first. should be a good summer :)

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 14:44:54 GMT

Well things sure do happen fast...I found out monday night that I got accepted into a graduate program for Cosmetic Chemistry. It is a two year program, so I would have a masters degree at 23. All this change is hard. Im a little worried about losing touch with matt. I feel like we are already drifting apart and I don't like that. Our lives seem so routine, hang out, watch tv, sleep, same thing the next day.

Today is just gorgeous out. I'll probably meet matt for lunch, then do some homework and run outside. I want to go out to the bar tonight too but I have to be up at 6am for a nuclear field trip the next morning, oh well i'll suck it up. There are only 3 weeks left.

On another note, today is my younger brother's 19th birthday. I can't believe it. We both grow up so fast.

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 21:56:02 GMT

this is unbelievable. I am graduating from college in 26 days. it is the absolute last thing i want to do. i love my life here. i don't want to go back to the life i had before.

SARK

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 00:36:17 GMT

So i have been home today doing some soul searching, reading old journals, books, and pulling SARK off the shelves. It was about this time 4 years ago when I needed this support, when I was graduating high school. Now i am graduating college and more lost than ever. I went back to where it started on the old fashioned SARK MMB (Marvelous message board) to see if any of the same people were posting. To my dismay however, I still have my account, yet cannot remember my password and it seems my email has changed since 2002. I tried to get on my MSN for the postcard fairies and that failed too! I like being little bean. That is who I am. I don't want to create new accounts. :( I did a lot today, although it looks like i sat in my pjs and read and wrote in journals. those days are important.

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 00:00:09 GMT

Dallas, Texas. i just don't have any words. i dont think i can deal with this...

Tue, 28 Feb 2006 23:15:46 GMT

oh my god, so i might be having a panic attack, matt just texted me and told me he knows where hyatt hotels is puting him next year. im supposed to meet him in an hour and a half, i dont want to know, oh god, im pathetic, this sucks. what if he is half the country away? why did i let myself fall in love with him again?

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 21:52:17 GMT

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as down to earth and reliable.

Overall, your true self is creative and expressive.

With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react.

In love, you seem energetic - almost manic.

In stressful situation, you seem like you're oblivious to the stress.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

Wed, 18 Jan 2006 22:01:12 GMT

after all that...matt and i are back together. it suprised me, but i couldn't be happier.

Mon, 19 Dec 2005 04:41:19 GMT

Welcome home. You're SO Jersey. You know Wildwood
and Seaside are the most disgusting places on
earth, and only good for drunken after prom
vacations, you know there's always a
"short-cut" to someplace. Isn't
Jersey great? I mean, where else can you go 80
MPH and STILL be the slowest car on the road?

How JERSEY are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thu, 15 Dec 2005 05:08:38 GMT

So today I went over to Matt's apt and gave him some christmas goodies. It was a nice little visit. I was pretty worried but everything worked out. I think we are going to try and do lunches or something next semester to keep in touch. I would really like that.

Last final is tomorrow before the drinking marathon begins. Then it is home for the holidays. Let's hope school is not cancelled due to "inclement weather." stupid Virginia and their 1 snow plow for the entire state. This should be interesting.

Sun, 11 Dec 2005 15:43:07 GMT

So last night I think I had a date. I had hung out with him a bit last night, a really sweet guy. I picked him up from his apt. where it appeared that a party was going on. He brought over Captain Ron and we watched and laughed and talked. I got a goodbye kiss at 2:30 am as well. Too bad I'll be going home for Christmas break on Friday. Either way, it was nice.

Sat, 10 Dec 2005 04:52:57 GMT

why do i miss him so much? i think im doing fine, then i just start hurting again. and again. and again.

Fri, 09 Dec 2005 15:00:35 GMT

Last night it started snowing like crazy. So the girls and I got a little crazy! We hung out, and by 11 we were acting out and singing RENT in my room, jumping on my bed and standing on chairs. Then I just got so into it and did a few solo performances that my roomated thought it would be funny to videotape. So embarrassing! But HILARIOUS! I think i lost my voice, I can't sleep.

So then this morning The school site said 2 hour school delay, so I got in the shower, did my makeup, blowdried my hair, got in my snow boots and was heading out to catch the bus when the roomies yell "where are you going?? School is cancelled!" They had changed the 2 hr delay to a school closed while I was getting ready. And now I'm awake! MAAAN! TIME TO PLAY!

Mon, 05 Dec 2005 04:01:42 GMT

I hope everyone is with the people they love this Christmas season.

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 22:29:19 GMT

A big sigh of relief.

OK so i talked to Matt today. I feel so much better. I have been going through so much helping my friend through her breakup that her situation melted into my own. But, talking to him today made me realize, I didn't have her relationship. I had a great one. I think I am going to continue being there for her, but suggest she see a therapist that can help her more fully with her problems, because I have been creating problems for myself and feeling her pain too deeply.

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 14:36:17 GMT

I've always considered myself to be a girl with a pretty good head on my shoulders. But it seems like lately, i have been conciously making the wrong decisions saying I don't care, then waking up full of regret in the morning? Why am I doing that?

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 15:24:17 GMT

Ok, so I thought this stuff was supposed to get easier? It definitely has not. If anyting I think it has gotten harder! It doesn't help that I am getting sick either. I don't know what to do...

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 14:35:10 GMT

As Miranda would say "I'm so fucked up! I'm so FUCKED up!"

what a mess i am.

Powerful Allman Brothers Lyrics

Wed, 09 Nov 2005 04:00:34 GMT

I'm not crying
Even though it hurts me so
More than you'll ever know
I'm not crying
It hurts me down in my soul
More than you'll ever know
But I'm not crying
-Allman Brothers Band, Im Not Crying

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 04:07:13 GMT

my mom was here this weekend! It was so fun. She got here on friday and we went out to dinner then we had people over my apt. so we all drank (A LOT) and then she came out with us to a friend's party! I couldnt believe it, All my friends loved it. Then we hung out on saturday, went to a movie, went shopping, went out to eat. Sunday we went and watched volleyball for a bit. It was a nice visit.

AND. Matt and I finally talked like civilized people today. we were both at the volleyball game for a while and just talked like friends again, it is nice that the silent treatment/awkward silences are starting to dwindle.

Fri, 04 Nov 2005 14:17:17 GMT

so last night i went to highlawn with liner... oh my god. i couldnt believe how much fun i had. my friend dave met me there and we danced the entire night. i met one of his friends and he gave me his number! matt was there too. it is still hard seeing him, but i was so happy that he came up and talked to us.